Music

But when we arrived to the venue, we saw a large amount of people queuing and we came to the conclusion that they may like English shit too. We saw a lot of teenagers. Arctic Monkeys keep trying to catch the attention of a more adult audience with their latest boring albums and unfashionable hairdos… but, even with all that effort, they can’t get away from teenage fans.

There were also a few guys in short sleeved t-shirts, singing and yelling in the queue. We don’t need to say what country were they from, do we? At the end of a long and cold length of time queuing, we finally got into the venue. So in a packed and almost mainstream stadium, we were ready for the show.

Miles Kane is Miles Kane plus three other guys, but who cares about them when your ego is bigger than Lana Del Rey’s lips? Surely he’d prefer having a huge mirror in front of the stage instead of the crowd. Regarding the show, unfortunately his hits like “Rearrange” or “Come Closer” lost their intensity in live. We missed his “Hey Bulldog!” cover of The Beatles. A so-so concert.

The wait was quite long, we don’t know what Arctic Monkeys were doing backstage, but we think they were [elaborate a line here with your thought]. Finally, they showed up on stage. Screams everywhere. “Don’t sit down ‘cause I’ve moved your chair” and a nasty, disgusting stream of sweat started to rise from the crowd. Tip to pestilent adolescents: remember to use deodorant when attending public places.

Among the first songs were “I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor,” “The View from the Afternoon,” “Brianstorm”... the most frantic ones, you know. But we only needed a pair of songs to realize that the bass line was distorted. And what’s more, Alex, don’t try to make your old and excellent songs sound like your latest two tedious LPs. For that, we already had the second, endless half of the concert. It was the most boring Arctic Monkeys’ concert we’ve ever attended.

Later on, we went to party at Sala Apolo and – how funny – there was Alex Turner and Miles Kane trying to fix the world with a gin ‘n’ tonic in hand. But they were accompanied by two huge gorillas who took away our urge to go and greet them.

Thinking of it, it’s better that way – an indie always represses his desire to show astonishment. Well that’s all, see you in another Indiescabreados’ not-so-close-to-reality review.