Not a soccer fan? We aren't either, so let's catch up on some basics. First skim this from Wikipedia on the nuts and bolts. Second, here's the official group stage match schedule plus the brackets culminating in the final on July 11th at 8.30pm in Johannesburg. Luckily South Africa-time is equivalent to Barcelona-time, so no need to wake up at 4am to watch your team lose (I'm talking to you England).

You should know that Adidas' specially fabricated, official match ball "Jabulani" (meaning "rejoice" in Zulu) is being criticized by an ever-growing tide of whining players, so if your country gets knocked out you can always just blame the ball (i.e. claiming it's "too round").

A wide array of Barcelona bars, restaurants, friends' living rooms, etc. will be showing the matches, but since the following advertisers are nice enough to hand money over to Miniguide, we thought we'd let you know that all the games are also available here:

Big J's Burger (Raval) – American-style diner showing all matches

Dionisos (Born) – large plasma screen on the outdoor terrace of this Greek restaurant

Fahrenheit (Eixample) – ready? 103-inch plasma TV plus another dozen screens at this stylish, new bar/restaurant; a big place but get there early

Kennedy Irish Sailing Club (Port Olímpic) – classy Irish pub slash sports bar with all the matches, of course

La Hacienda (Born) – plasma screens at this new Mexican restaurant, plus a special Copa del Mundo offer of 6 beers plus nachos & cheese with 4 dips for 19.50 euros

Margarita Blue (Barri Gòtic) – Matches plus Mexican food and cocktails at this Barcelona favorite

New Oven (Eixample) – newish, fashionable/minimalist/red&white Mediterranean restaurant showing the matches

Pizza Concept (Born) – new and trendy Italian restaurant with the matches, also a nice terrace

Princesa 23 Beach Bar (Barceloneta) – installing huge plasma screens on top of this chiringuito right on the beach, with games visible from a large radius; expect madness

Princesa 23 Restaurant (Born) – plasma screens at this tapas bar/restaurant offering mojitos or caipirinhas for 4 euros

Shangó (Barri Gòtic) – tiny bar in Barri Gòtic with a latin soul but international crowd ... has 8.30pm games only.

Shôko (Port Olímpic) – all the games on huge screens next to the beach at this fashionable lounge, restaurant and nightclub

Stush & Teng (Eixample) – hip and elegant Jamaican restaurant serving up the matches in style

Suborn (Born) – cool bar/restaurant with the matches splashed on the wall via huge projector

Oh, and one more thing: GO USA!!!!